My blog has been the ground of expression for me since the day I made my first post and I must admit, it contributes a lot of help whenever I feel down or disturbed. My thoughts, everyday living, and career plans, are all blatantly visible on my site. Family issues, love affairs, and fragile topics are no exception as well.
My current boyfriend, Boo, has been a fan of my work as a graphic designer, and a fan of my blog when we started dating. He constantly checks my site for any updates I may have and reads them religiously and patiently. But one day when we had an argument, he vowed never to visit it ever again.
He recently told me that he visited my site again to check on the posts I made regarding our monthsary. I was very happy to know that he broke his vow. He told me that he decided to visit it again, till he saw one post I made. I asked him which of my posts changed his decision, and he told me that it was this specific entry.
The topics in my blog are all personal considering that this is after all a personal blog of mine. So all the posts I have published is basically a book about my life. Some of the entries I have, for him, are unnecessary and would be better off if I was to delete them. We’ve talked about it before and I told him that I stand to what I write in my blog and my credibility is something that I hold strongly.
He asks me why I don’t delete posts that brings shame to my name despite the total contrast to who I really am such as my I’m a slut entry. I really had no intentions of ever deleting that entry, or any of my other entries for that matter not only for my credibility’s sake, but because it is my past.
I have suffered a lot in my life and I have every inch of my soul to be thankful for all of them. It would be cliche for me to say that I wouldn’t be the strong person I am today if it wasn’t for those obstacles I had to go through, but it is the truth. The person standing in front of my partner right now is the product of life’s tough challenges, and despite how ugly the challenges are, I cannot erase them, nor regret how I handled them individually.
I’ve always tried not to regret things in life, and I’ve been doing a great job so far. The past is truly a part of who we are. The present is what we make out of what we have today. The future holds the person we have become after crossing the finish line.
He may be reading this entry, but chances tells me he wouldn’t. But like life, I am hopeful as always. What else could I have… but faith.
